I was sitting down thinking this morning about you, as I do frequently each day, but this time I though it would be a good idea if I sent you my thoughts. We don't see each other very often nor do we write each other either. I wanted to try and put in perspective my feelings that could be useful to you on days when you think I don't care about you, or you think I spend more time with Bridget or when you are just feeling a little sad.

First you need to know that I love you unconditionally. I watched you being born and I cried with joy and happiness as you entered this world with your eye lids closed, but underneath they were fluttering as the light outside of your mother's body struck them. You had been warm and cozy for nine months and suddenly you were thrust out into our world. I did a video of your birth that I will give you some day.

When you were 6 months old you were lying on mom and dads bed and your mother and I were sitting beside you, one on each side. For over an hour you talked to us in baby talk and you smiled constantly, moving your head from side to side and your arms and legs were in constant motion, flowing through the air in unison with your discussion. I knew from that moment on you would be a very social person and a very special individual with a gift for language. (You had over 50 words before you were 1 year old). I called you my lovely little chatterbox. I truly though you were a genius. From that day forward I increased my frequency of talking to you, (I did it a great deal beforehand as well) because I knew you could understand some of what I was saying even though you could not speak English. You could certainly communicate though and you did it very well. When we would be out for a drive and you were in the baby seat in the rear seats of the 4Runner - early on you would be facing the back of the truck because you were in a rear facing chair. That wasn't much fun for you so as I was driving I would talk to you constantly. We would go up our street and I would tell you what house we were passing or what kind of vehicle went by or the kinds of clouds in the sky, if there was somebody walking their dog and all kinds of small talk. At a street light I would talk about the colours of the lights and what they meant. Sometimes people would see my mouth going and wonder who I was talking to because they couldn't see you. I didn't care.

As you got older I would talk to you about the different kinds of vehicles we were passing or near us. This would happen every day and over time you got to know many, many different names. I would buy you small car toys, and big ones like your electric bike and jeep, and legos as well as dolls so you could develop an interest beyond regular girl stuff.

I raised you here in this house for 10 years and I was with you almost everyday of your life. I had to go to a Mail Boxes Etc. meeting in Gravenhurst when you were around 2 for 3 days and two nights. I didn't want to go but it was felt I should because of the store being so new back then. I felt guilty about leaving you but mom was there to look after you. I took your picture and put it on my night table and kissed it goodnight. I called to see how you were doing without me. I couldn't wait to get home to see my little girl. Bridget was not yet born.

We did a lot of things together and when Bridget was born you took a great interest in her well being. She looks up to you to this day as her big sister just as you looked up to Shannon in the same way when you were younger. She loves you a great deal. You do have fights and most of that now is normal sibling rivalry. You need to know that I love you both equally even though I don't see you as much.

Your mother and I are having our differences with this divorce and this has had an impact on you and Bridget. You can love both your parents and you don't have to take sides. Having to take sides is hard on you. We both love you and that will never change. If you are with me and I "badmouth" your mother you have every right to look me in the eye and say. "Please do not call my mother names in front of me". "I am not divorcing you or her and keep me out of it." You will not ever hear me bad mouth her in front of you but if I do you have every right to be miffed. The same holds true for both parents.

When you were in school in the early grades you would sometimes come home from school upset that someone was picking on you. I would listen to what you were saying and frequently I would offer this advice. I would ask you to look me in the eyes and offer instructions as to how to reply to the offending person. Most often I would suggest saying, while you looked at them directly in the eyes, – if they called you a name – "please do not call me names, I didn't do anything to you and you shouldn't be so rude". This is called being assertive where you stand up for your rights without insult to the other party. What you do by being assertive is to tell the other person you are upset by what they said but respecting their rights. You have never had a problem in telling me how you feel.

I said at the beginning I love you unconditionally. What that means is you could call me every bad name in the existence of the English language, you could tell me you hate me over and over to my face or to others and it will have no effect on my love for you. It does hurt my feelings, for I am human, and I may cry but I will still love you no matter what. So will your mother. That is what being a parent is about. You will have many friends in your life and some will stay with you for a very long time, others shorter, but the one constant and unwavering thing you will be able to count on is your parents even if we are divorced. You have a family with your two parents including Bridget but as well you have Shannon, Erin, Sean, and Kate who love you dearly. You also have Uncles & Aunts who think about you and love you but you don't get to see them very often. You have cousins galore you have not yet met in the UK and who will adore you once they get to meet you. I hope we can go there before your Great Uncle Bernard and Aunty Ann pass away.

I am getting older and some day I too will pass away. I want to be able to hug you once again as I did almost every day you were with me. I miss you so much in my life. You are my wonderful chatterbox who used to tell me everything. You are a unique creation of myself and your mother, you are a beautiful teenager and I want to help protect you from adventurous boys who have a God given fear of dads who make them respect their daughters. You will want boys to respect you and I can help with that.

I will look out for you no matter where I am, even heaven when I get there, and I will also look out for your children as well when you have them. I want to leave some of my spirit with you so that as you sit with your friends and children you will be able to tell them I was a good dad , that I gave you good advice and that I loved you as you love your own children. Always remember, even in your saddest of moments, if you have them that I love you and always will. Keep this letter, fold it up in your purse or wallet and when needed pull it out and read it. It might help knowing that of all the boys or men you meet now or later in life in this universe I will love you more than anyone of them possibly can without condition forever. I am part of you as you are of me and your mom – we are a flesh and blood family – no matter what happens.

Love Daddy

<3 (L)